Peter and I are about to celebrate our anniversary. Whenever I get to another anniversary, I am always thankful but more than that, I think about how lucky we are to have each other. But having been married for 39 years this year, I also think about all the hard work it took to get here. So many people who know us often say that we are “perfect” for each other, but it is not about being perfect…it is about so much more!
Marriage isn’t only about love. Of course, you have to love each other but love is not enough. You also have to be friends, respect each other and work together. You need to have commitment, make an effort and be able to adapt. We have “grown up” together…and continue to grow together.
Other people also say that they never see us fight. Well trust me, we do fight and when we were first married, we fought a LOT!! I would like to think that even when we fight, it leads us to talk about what we disagree on and then be able to have real conversations about what we need (both individually and as a couple) and then figure out how to get to the best end result. It may not be my result or his result, but it is the best result for us as a couple!
I am happy to say that my husband is my best friend and my biggest cheerleader in life…but I have also said that he can be my harshest critic. Sometimes it is tough to hear that criticism, but I also know that he does it to push me to have the best outcome for whatever situation I am in. We also recognize that we cannot always be 100% the solution for each other. We both have strong networks of individual interests and friends. We are two different and distinct individuals, and we should not expect each other to be our exact opposite half!
Two final thoughts that may be even the most important…first is that marriage requires continued maintenance. Check in with each other and plan time together, because your relationship needs to be at the top of the list especially when other life responsibilities come into play. And finally, make sure your marriage is evolving. We are not the same people that we were when we married at age 21! We have evolved as individuals, which means that our marriage has also had to evolve. Adapt, grow and love each other every day!
Happy Anniversary Peter!
